To Cry It Out Or Not To Cry It Out

I read a story online about a couple who went to adopt a baby from an orphanage in Asia. When the couple walked in to the nursery they could hear a pin drop. The nursery had over 100 babies and it was so strange that the room was silent. The future mother then asked the head of the orphanage “How are all these babies so calm and quiet?” “What is your secret?” The head of the orphanage then said “The babies used to cry but now they don’t. They have become accustomed to the fact that no one is coming for them.” When I read this story I vowed to never make my son feel that no one was not coming for him. I wanted him to feel safe and make sure he always knows that momma will always be there. So now we are working on transferring him from co-sleeping to independent sleeping in his crib. Before doing so I have been following a strict routine with our little man. At 7pm we begin our bedtime routine. It consists of bath time, feeding time, story time, and quiet time. I have done this routine meticulously for the last two months. Now he is completely used to it and at 7pm becomes fussy for bedtime. I think this has made my transition to the crib easier because he knows and understands that it is bedtime. I have missed many dinners with friends and many nights of going out just to follow this routine. I feel this routine is so important and my choice between going out and doing this was easy. My baby comes first and he always will. First two weeks were not easy by any means. I began slowly and when he would cry I would take him to my room, nurse and stay with him. I did this every time he cried. I did not want him to feel abandoned and I certainly did not want him to hate being in his crib. All I could think about is that there has to be a better way then letting a baby cry. Now do not crucify me I completely understand that babies will cry and show displeasure. I am not saying that my child does not cry he most certainly does; but what I am saying is this specific situation I will not let him cry. There has to be a happy way for them to soothe themselves so that when you place them in the crib they understand it is time to sleep. I started to place him in his crib during the day naps so that he can get used to it. Then following the routine I kept placing him in the crib at night. I stayed next to the crib for the first few times. Then last night it happened. He was in what I call full party mode. I did the bedtime routine and I placed him in his crib wide awake. I took my handy baby monitor and watched from the living room. He played around for around 8 minutes then he started rubbing his eyes. He kept kicking up his legs and turning to the side and 7 more minutes pass and all of a sudden silence. I run upstairs to check and it has happened he has put himself to sleep without crying. He did it! I was overjoyed and sad at the same time. Overjoyed because I knew there was a way to accomplish this sleep training without making babies cry it out. I was sad because my little guy did not need momma’s cuddles to make him sleep anymore. It is a new journey for him and he is learning and thriving so well. I am a proud momma.

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